Captain Jack Sparrow Visits the Future
by dragonrider847
Summary: Captain Jack Sparrow has been sent to the 'future' to come to a realisation. Things are a little different than what he is used to however...


The first firework of the summer vacation hit the sky and exploded in a burst of orange and red. Jack Sparrow leaped in the air and stared bewildered at the sky. "We're under attack! Man the cannons!" Hands in the air, he ran in an indecisive circle, staggered to a halt and swayed slightly. "Where the heavens are we?"

I rolled my eyes from beside Jack and took a swig from my red cup. "We're at a house party in Florida, year 2000".

Jack raised a finger and paused. "Where? When?" He considered this for a moment. "And how, exactly?" I turned away from the group of teens he had appeared into.

"I'm the soul of Elizabeth Swann in a descendant known as Anna Lightwater. I've been ordered to show you the 'future' by some spirit." I sarcastically made air-quotes, not imagining that a teen party was particularly representative of 'the future'.

"Riiigghhtt…. What does this mean?" He uncertainly copied my gesture in a jerky fashion, making me laugh and splutter my beer over his overcoat. He jumped backwards with a disgusted expression. "And what is THAT?" He sniffed at the liquid on his sleeve and licked it with the very end of his tongue.

"It's beer – we can go get you a cup from over there," I pointed past his scrunched up nose to a table in the process of being upturned by one/two humans squished against each other. "What's wrong with rum? I don't like this 'future'. Where's my ship?" He made his newfound air-quotes and turned on his heel to stalk towards the barbecue. I caught up with him as he stopped to inspect what he presumably took to be the shore, where he was staring off into the distance, bent slightly to one side as he strained to see over the neighbor's hedge. "Where is she?" I opened my mouth to explain the situation again but found it forced shut as he spun around and hissed in my face "And WHERE is the sea?".

"We don't live on ships here…" I tailed off when I realized I was talking to his back.

"Can I eat this? It feels like sea sponge… and what's in the middle? You put a rigger in here didn't you?" He was inspecting a burger as if it was about to come alive.

"No! It's a burger! And that's beef in the middle. Wait, how would you know what human m— no never mind…"

I stared at the pirate standing in front of me. Why was this necessary or even possible? All I knew was that last night a shadow spirit appeared in my room, which after a significant period of calming down told me that I was to supervise a pirate by the name of Captain Jack Sparrow whilst he came to a realization. I had asked what this meant, but it conveniently disappeared; literally in a puff of smoke. So I had done what I had been told and had found a large group of people at precisely 15:49 EDT to aid with his spirit's transportation. When he had appeared (also in a stereotypical puff of smoke) nobody around us had seemed to notice. Magic, I guess… or voodoo knowing my luck.

"Listen, Jack. You were brought here to help you think of or remember something. Don't ask me what, 'cos your guess is as good as mine."

Jack frowned down at me. "But how good is your guess? Depending on the position of the moon that might make it better than mine." He appeared thoughtful for a second. "Actually, I doubt it. My guessing is usually best."

"Jack! Think!" I shouted, tiring already of his distractible nature.

"Ah yes! Let me see…" He twitched his moustache, licked the end of his finger and held it up to the summer breeze. "That way!" He announced, pointing towards the house and marching off once again. I sighed and grabbed another beer – it was necessary right now I decided. About thirty seconds later Jack came running back out of the house gripping his hat.

"We're under fire again! Very strange cannons, but their ship's behind there! You lied to me about the sea Elizabeth." He growled in my face, still panting from his mad sprint across the lawn.

"First of all, I never said anything about the sea, but no, there is no sea OR ship here." I stepped out of range of his foul breath. "Secondly, that's music, not a cannon. Will you quit running around like a headless chicken!"

"Chickens don't run around when they're headless. That's called dead." He said the last part quietly, leaning in with a sympathetic eyebrow raise.

"Music. Really." Wearing a skeptical expression, he sauntered back towards the house, jumping at the bass-drop. Sighing again, I waited for him to come running back out. He didn't.

When I finally found him, Jack was standing in the middle of a cluster of people. I pushed my way through the drunken mass and blinked at the sight. A girl lay unconscious on the floor, unresponsive to her friends' attempts to wake her. Jack, meanwhile, was standing with one hand on his hip, the other rocking a chair back and forth whilst looking extremely deep in thought.

"What the hell happened here?" I asked, thoroughly confused. A skinny blonde in red stilettos spoke up first.

"Rachel was dancing on the chair and… HE comes in and pushes her off, just like this," She demonstrated a flamboyant shove which would have been comical had I not known that Jack Sparrow was indeed capable of such flamboyance. "And now she's knocked out on the floor and I don't know what to do." The girl started welling up and flapped at her flawless eye makeup, jangling the multiple bracelets on her wrist. Conveniently, at that moment, Rachel began to stir.

"Take her outside and get her some water," I ordered, before turning to Jack who was still in his apparent state of trance.

"I'VE GOT IT!" He suddenly shouted, letting the chair teeter on two legs before crashing into a guy sitting against the wall, who promptly spilled his drink over his pants. "I left the key to the chest hooked under the chair in Meriton's cabin whilst I was tied up! I knew I'd forgotten something!" He made a little gasp, his eyebrows shooting up as he covered his mouth daintily with the tips of his fingers. "Meriton. I knew there was someone with a bone left unpicked." He rocked back slightly. "Oh no, wait. That's me."

"So you mean to say you got sent all the way to the future just to find a chair, which isn't even a modern-day object?" I was astounded. Of all of the crazy things I've experienced in my life to date, this one tops it like a cherry floating a mile above the cake. I was brought back to my senses when Jack was shoved into me. The guy whose drink had been spilled was on his feet and looked quite the opposite of amused.

"You made me spill my beer…. And now I'm wet," He slurred, staggering as he raised a fist to eye level. "You don't mess with me…. I'll beat yer,".

Jack dusted off his sash and looked at the guy squarely. "I challenge 'yer' to a sword fight then!" He drew his sword, sending the surrounding crowd back several meters.

"Jack, no!" I ran into the drunken guy, sending him flying out of Jack's and through the smoky haze in the doorway. I belatedly realized that the smoke was actually coming from the figure of the same spirit that visited me the other night.

"I have come to retrieve Captain Jack Sparrow," It claimed. "The realization has been made and Captain Meriton will be notified of the outcome."

"Waaiiitt wait wait, what?" Asked Jack, waving his sword instead in the direction of the shadow. "That's my key! I found it!"

"The key belongs to the chest of Captain Meriton. He will reclaim his property." The spirit responded, very matter-of-factly.

"We'll see about that. Pirates don't exist for no reason, and I'll have you know I'm not very good at not giving pirating a reason not to exist." Jack looked smug and then realized what he had just implied. "I'm good at reclaiming what isn't mine. 'Yer' know, pirating stuff." Out came the air-quotes again.

"I will take you back now, Sparrow." Announced the spirit, sounding mildly displeased.

"That's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow to you." Jack reminded it, stepping towards the doorway. "And Elizabeth,"

"It's Anna," I reminded him.

"Yeah yeah, well you're fired. This future place is rubbish."

"I wasn't even –"

'Yeah well now you are. And you were."

With a final adjustment of his hat, Captain Jack Sparrow walked towards the spirit and both vanished in a puff of smoke. I stood gaping for a while and then stepped over the guy in the doorway, setting sail for the beer table. It's not a pirate's life for me, I concluded.


End file.
